Today is my wedding day (and yes, I've already broken my vow of silence once. It's hard not to when a bridesmaid calls you for directions...)
Last night the rehearsal was beautiful, the sky softly clouded and, as we went to dinner afterwards on the patio of a nearby restaurant, the sky darkened into that deep, glowing blue that is my favorite, with a pure white half crescent moon overhead. I walked back and forth from table to table, kneeling next to seats and chatting, giving hugs, holding hands, we even had a couple of serenades by the restaurant's live entertainment, and last but not least, feeling little Nicholas move in Bebe's HUGE belly. That was the highlight. How it fascinates me! But first things first, and I tartly informed the ladies standing around that no one was to expect a belly like that from ME in six months from now!
After going to bed in the wee hours, I woke up at dawn today, heart thumping, mind racing. For the next two hours I laid in bed curled on my side, marinating in the joy of this day. I've written my vows and my fingers itch to post them here. Perhaps tomorrow. There are other fun things for you to see too, but they'll have to wait a few days, can't spoil my blog reading guests' "dinner". :)
I keep having butterflies race down my spine and cluster in my tummy, and I relax into them and feel those tickling waves of energy course through my entire body. I can't wait to walk down that aisle, to look into those infinitely deep brown eyes, to say my words, to hear his, to bind our hands together for a moment and bind our souls together for all time.
I am a blessed girl. And I give thanks for everything. (yes, even the meltdowns).
Last night my mother knocked on my door as I worked on vows, saying that she was lying in bed and couldn't go to sleep until she'd wished me a good night on this last evening of my single womanhood. Then my sister came in and we all three sat on the bed, talking. Mom told me that she's never seen two people more perfectly matched than me and Terry. Michal mused about her eventual marrying or not marrying someone, and said that she would if she found someone who did the opposite of constrain her, but rather set her free and made her calm - the type of person I'd found.
Warmth surrounded me. My family's not exactly tender usually, so those moments will always be with me.
I told them that it was a funny feeling, going to sleep, knowing you'll wake up a different person. And I have. I am different. But it's not so much a switch as it is a layering - after today I'll be more complex, more joyful, more aware, more awake. I'll be more myself.
And I give thanks, I give thanks, I give thanks.
I hope all of you on out there have a wonderful day too. Blessings to all of you. I'm overflowing with joy, and I'm sending it through the e-waves!
Happy
And a quote:
I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
~Anais Nin
