Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Body

...from my personal writings, usually separate from blogging...

Our bodies are changing. And I don't mean just because we're losing weight, which is definitely happening too. We arrived in Texas pudgy and unhappy, feeling stuck and stiff physically. Terry had terrible dark circles under his eyes, and my body had curves which it may never have had before and that I certainly did not want there. We began to eat healthier, quickly jumping back into a vegetarian diet (which had been compromised by dinners and lunches at Mom-mom's, Terry's maternal grandmother who loves via food's, house on Thursdays and Sundays), then into a vegan diet, which hadn't been particularly firm or consistent to begin with, and had flown in Richmond and Pennsylvania through pizza and french fries with cheese and ice cream and such. We discovered hazlenut milk (delicious) and are still working on the perfect cashew cheese, which is narrowing down. And we started nearly daily yoga.

That said, we were feeling healthier, but not losing much weight. Then, after more reading, we decided to go raw. And not only that, but we decided to do that adventurous apple fast/gall bladder cleanse of two weeks ago. And that's when the pounds started melting off.

Daily we'd lose weight, and during the apple fast, we weren't even exercising, to avoid overtaxing our bodies (we figured they were working hard as it was). Terry shed pounds and so did I. At the end of the fast, he was at about 153 and I was at about 92. I haven't weighed that much since high school. And I'm not even trying to lose weight!

When we eat, we eat living foods, ones that naturally have digestive enzymes that haven't gotten killed via cooking so that our bodies can convert easily to energy and that we don't store as fat. No dairy means none of the associated mucous production that was so obvious within ten seconds of when Terry had a sip of chocolate milk a few weeks ago.

Usually, when I would give in to my sweets cravings (which I have LOTS of), I'd bargain with myself, figuring out just how bad this was for my body, thinking of how I'd offset that. Today, after lunch, as I was walking back to our room where we were watching Star Wars (it makes much more sense to me now, and what creativity George Lucas had! He was on the mark about so many things!), carrying our dessert of two chocolate mockaroons and a big glass of creamy rice milk, it finally hit me. My mind started to do that bargaining and figuring thing, and I realized. This was GOOD for me. I was about to eat superfoods. The mockaroons are called that (instead of macaroons) because they're made with organic raw cacao powder, shredded raw coconut, honey and/or agave nectar, and coconut butter (there may be other things, I can't recall right now). The ingredients are formed into balls and dehydrated for a day or two, but Terry and I grab them out of the dehydrator along the way and have delicious gooey chocolatey treats reminiscent of half done brownies, which I've always loved. And not only do I not have to pay for it, my body THANKS me! Those are all good fats and beneficial nutrients! A completely different approach to food, this is. And I'm loving it.

Slowly, I'm beginning to not recognize things like bread and meat as food. Seeds and nuts and fruits and greens are food, and what is bread? Grass seeds cooked and ground into powder, then mixed with a bunch of other things into a goo, and cooked until tiny holes foam up and it stays frozen that way, permanently, and is considered yummy. Meat? Muscle tissue. Of abused and tortured and poisoned animals. Not exactly delicious.

And we're still losing weight. Today Terry weighed in at 148 and I weighed in at 90. I think we'll probably even out soon, and our bodies will form the way they're supposed to be formed – after all, I eat plenty of fats. Today, so far, I've had an entire avocado (loaded with good fats), a mockaroon, which is the same, and for dinner I'll have cauliflower doused in spices like salt, pepper, dulse, cumin, and dipped in organic barbecue sauce and vegenaise, followed by a dessert of chocolate pudding made from greens, avocado, organic coconut milk creamer, agave and/or honey, and raw cacao. It tastes just like chocolate pudding and it's a recipe that Terry and I came up with ourselves (and are very proud of!).

In his Superfoods book, Wolfe says that at some point it's a good idea to go on an extended (two weeks or a bit longer) juice fast to clear out ALL toxins. That would also clear off all body fat, because that's where toxins are stored, so we'd be looking pretty emaciated. But afterwards, once you reintroduce fats, your body builds itself again from the bottom up, the way you SHOULD be. So, there are 7 weeks til the wedding. If we do the juice fast soon, we'll have a month to put back on healthy fat and not terrify everyone at the wedding by looking half starved. I like it.

Yesterday we walked through the grocery store and I saw a headline on one of those check-out rack magazines that said something about celebrity diets, ones that REALLY work. I laughed, thinking of how many women try and cry and weigh and measure, when they could just be on a raw diet and see the pounds fall off, as they ate delicious and satisfying food. Lately I've been stuffing myself every night, around 9:30pm, when my hunger kicks in if I don't go to bed, and I'm still LOSING weight. How far we've come from what the Heavenly Father and Earthly Mother intended for their children...


added note: you may be alarmed by my pound report. However, we don't look unhealthy at all. I'm 5'3" and Terry's 5'8". We look lean, thin, and toned. Because there's a shortage of info about raw eating from people who aren't already extremely well versed in it, we plan to start blogging pretty soon and posting pics of our weekly bodies, to show the changes. Wolfe says that, after all toxins are removed from the body, the bone structure of the face may even change as potentials for health and form turn into realities in health and form. So we'll see. But don't worry. We're not anorexic :) And we feel amazing. More energy and joy than ever before experienced, for my part. Maybe there's something TO this stuff, huh?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Checking In

I've been a terrible blogger lately.

Yes, I know.

And I'm sorry. I know that my internetey friends may have found greener and wordier pastures and my 3-D life friends are probably wondering if I'm still alive, because I'm not all that great at the phoning thing lately.

As I type this post I'm waiting for my veil to dry - every 20 minutes I go into the bathroom where it's spread on the floor, freshly cut, waiting for that glue stuff that keeps the edges from fraying. A little less than classic, yes, but I like it. My dress is so ornate that I think the simplest veil possible will be perfect. And this one is white and shimmery and gorgeous in fabric alone - why mess with a good thing?

As I wait I'm also shopping for wedding earrings. Blue roses have a special significance for us, and I've seen so many lovely choices! For example, here are a few that caught my eye while searching on google:






I just got a message back that this shopkeeper may be making me a special, personalized pair. Can't wait!

T is across the room, working on our wedding slideshow. Here's a little preview for you (yes, the second one is me. I didn't have hair til I was 3....let's hope the one-day children get T's follicles...)
Tomorrow I'll have more updates, if I get around to writing. It's a busy one, this life!

Happy Week Start!

Today's quote:
"Human beings, you and I, are goal-centered organisms. We are teleological in that we are motivated by purposes, by desired end states. We are engineered mentally to move progressively and successively from one goal to the next, and we are never really happy unless, and until, we are moving toward the accomplishment of something that is important to us."
~Brian Tracy

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Awesome Apple Fast: Days 4 & 5

Alrighty so let's discuss how this went.

On the morning of Day 4, which was Thursday, I woke up filled with energy and optimism.
It was a great day.
The sun was shining (or would be soon...I get up early).
My body felt amazing - I've never felt so clean and good!
Today was the last day of the cleanse, so, after some unpleasantness in the afternoon,
I'd be able to eat tomorrow.
Awesome.

So I went on my merry little way, preparing for the wedding, sending out emails, working on lots of new and very VERY exciting changes going on around here (stay tuned, lots of posts to come), drank some apple sauce/juice (which is what you get when you juice apples yourself), and then 3:00pm rolled around.

It was time.
(scary)
T and I filed into the kitchen. I meticulously measured out our olive oil - 6 ounces for me, and 8 for him (he was optimistic).

He squeezed lemon juice for us, the same amounts for each.

I went and got his computer to video record this momentous occasion (which video promptly deleted itself - weird, but true, and I'm kinda glad about that).

We tried to wrap our arms wedding-toast style, but were too paranoid about what we'd do after taking the first sip of olive oil, so we just faced each other instead.

After a clink, and a count down, bottoms up.


Oh.
My.
GOSH.

Seriously? Seriously. I am all for cleanses - with how amazing this one felt, I'm all about doing a different cleanse a month til all my body organs are spic and span, but I will not lie to you.

It was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced.

If I believed that Hell was a place where you have to do the most unpleasant thing imaginable forever, I'd be sitting there with a never-ending glass of amber olive oil.
It was really THAT bad.

I can't even describe it. It isn't that the taste is terrible, I mean, it tastes like olive oil. If you've ever taken a tequila shot (guilty, of course) then this is child's play. The problem is the TEXTURE. Your throat doesn't like it. And after 3.5 days of only apple juice, your stomach isn't a fan of the incredible richness either.

Really, it was horror of horrors horribleawefuldisGUUUSting. I asked Terry (only half joking) whether he thought David Wolfe put that in the book just to make his readers feel inadequate compared to him - I mean, he didn't even warn you about the terribleness, does that mean he can just sip it with a smile? If so, I suck in comparison. Maybe this is his raw foodism scheme to take over the world, psychologically.

I don't believe that. But, if he can drink that with no problems, he's a better human than I. Or a worse one. Depends on how you look at it.

We tried straws. (which worked better for me than T)

We tried to, since we were filming, pretend that we were doing a commercial and that the drink was delicious. I mean, I'm sure people have to do that sometimes. What about cooking shows? They ALWAYS look like that stuff tastes amazing. And I know from experience after trying their recipes, that those faces are faked at least some of the time.

That didn't work.

In the end, Terry downed his entire glass (I'm getting queasy just typing about it). I, on the other hand, could only get 4 ounces down. We figured that since I'm pretty small and light (under 100lbs), this was probably fine.

So we followed up with the lemon juice, during which T made faces I've never seen on a human before and that were highly entertaining, and put on our inventive liver compresses, which consisted of cloths with warm castor oil on them, against our livers, under a layer of plastic wrap that wound twice around our torsos. Awesome. (and sweaty, ew).

We laid in bed, on our right sides, with the mattress heater on, and watched movies - a little of Alien, then some of As Good As it Gets - about then T got sleepy so I watched some Gossip Girl and videos on wedding hair (very interesting, notsomuch, but necessary).

As the sun went down, we got lethargic and weird and T got downright sick. He was bad off. Just goes to show you, listen to your body! Don't force yourself to finish the doggone olive oil! Be like me, and once you start dry heaving, PUT THE GLASS DOWN.

Anyway.

And, as for the passing of the gall bladder stones, did it happen on the morning of Day 5?

Yes.

No, it wasn't painful at all. I won't go into specifics cause that's a little TOO much detail for a random googler who's ended up on my blog, but feel free to email me if you have questions.

We spent the day Friday in the city, going to a dress fitting for me and running errands and breaking our fast with Mexican food over at Ruby Tequilas -
-NOT a good idea. I felt so polluted after I left that place. No offence to RT, I just think I'm off cooked food.

I've been so spoiled with my mental acuity and mood and energy and physique, and now that I've successfully formulated a delicious flax cracker recipe to curb my tortilla chip addiction (for a later post, that), I'm on my way.

I will miss that quinoa bread though. Make a loaf, have it with honey for me. YUM.

I'm off to google raw bread recipes....

Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Awesome Apple Fast, Day 3 report

Well, another day has passed on the fast!

(and it went by quickly too)

I spent the day cross-legged on the floor, embellishing invitations and tying ribbon (pics to come soon).

This morning, upon awakening, I felt amazing. I'm serious. I wasn't hungry at all. The interesting thing about eating raw, fresh, organic food and doing cleanses and such is that after you go through the withdrawal, you feel great. Energy is up, mood is great, body rocks (I have "flu abs", or so I told my friend Bebe today - you know when you get the flu, but look awesome afterwards? Yeah, I have those, but healthy.), thoughts are clearer, and there are a whole bunch of other great side effects.

NOT, however, that you should fast all the time - that would deprive you of stuff you need. But, once in a while? As a cleanse? To give your digestive system and such a break? Very smart.

Toward late morning I'd get a little light headed if I stood up too fast - there was that low blood sugar. I'm also not doing my daily morning yoga (which I loooooooooooooooooove) during the cleanse to give my body lots of time and energy to clean out everything that ought to go (acne included, we hope), and that could be part of the lightheadedness. I miss the yoga though, and can't WAIT til Friday when I can do it again. I've only had this practice for a couple of weeks, and already my body is changing, no joke. Who'd've ever thunk I'd be able to do the wheel pose these days?
And yet, after a few days, I could. Amazing. My balance has improved, my mood certainly has, and I just don't feel right when I miss it in the morning. Not to mention the fact that it's a challenge, and I know that by the time I can do this series without breaking a sweat I'll be in fanfreakingtastic shape. That day has not arrived. Maybe in a month. Or two.

But, back to the cleanse.

So this evening, after our last apple juice glasses were empty for the day, T and I laid in bed with the mattress heater on (I was shivering, which was better than this morning, where I felt as if I were drunk after my first glass of apple juice on an empty and lightheaded stomach - I celebrated St. Patty's day after all!). We were fantasizing about food. We talked about recipes for Friday (which will be the first day off the cleanse, and also when we get to go and take a look at my dress, to see if the alterations are done! YAY!). We're planning to make lots of delicious things to welcome us back to the eating person's world.

I'd never done a real fast like this before, and although I was excited, I was also a little nervous. Could I do it? Would I turn into a bitchy monster?

The answers were yes, and occasionally. (Sorry, T.)

Tonight we have to take herbal laxatives (not attractive, but we're all honesty on this blog), and tomorrow at 3:00, after not having any juice for at least two hours, we have to drink 6-8 ounces of straight olive oil followed by the same amount of straight lemon juice.

Scary?
yes.

Am I fascinated too, to see what the heck happens?
absolutely.

Then, we take another laxative, lie in bed for the rest of the day on our side with a compress over our livers, and wait it out (we'll be watching James Cameron movies, if you're wondering. Random, I know. But we saw a TED talk of his today and made the decision then.

Then, Friday morning, supposedly we'll eliminate gall bladder stones from our body. Apparently anyone who's regularly eaten meat and dairy over the course of their life has them. You have from 300-1500, and they range in size from smaller than a bell pepper seed to the size of a (freaking) brazil nut, according to David Wolfe. (Again, scary, and strangely fascinating). My only thought is, good lord get that outta me! So there you go. Looking forward to Friday.

And tomorrow as well, other than guzzling down a glass of olive oil. Gulp.

Happy St. Patty's Day! Have a green beer for me!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Awesome Apple Fast: Days 1 & 2

I don't know if y'all would automatically know what a fast is, at least in the sense that I'm doing one right now. Of course, Lent is upon us so I'm sure some of you are familiar with the concept of fasting (which isn't why I'm doing it, but it is a charming coincidence).

Just in case, answers.com defines a fast as simply "abstention from eating." (that's an awfully hard core definition, and no, obviously cause of the picture above, I'm not going that far...). Antonyms, according to the same site are "binge, eating, engorgement, and feast." So there you go.

So back to the fast. T and I have been reading an excellent book by David Wolfe (a nutritional guru) when it comes to raw, living, and super foods. Here's the link on Amazon.

This particular fast, which is officially a gall bladder cleanse (which supposedly supercharges liver function and other things that are healthily awesome), consists of first, three days of eating nothing but freshly juiced apples and water.

That's it.

We're currently on Day 2, and so far, it's not that bad. Of course, gorging on Mexican food and chocolate chip cookies (gluten free, of course) on Sunday night due to a fear of the cleanse's start on Monday morning probably made yesterday an easier day than it might have been otherwise. Our bodies were still going off of the huge overeating Sunday. That's cheating, by the way.

But back to the cleanse - yesterday and today I spent all day (and I do mean All. Day.) working on wedding invitations and reception invitations - all in all, I have to make roughly 200 total, and there's lots of ripping and gluing and stamping and embossing and ribbon tying and such involved, so my fingers are tired and the rest of me is slightly cranky.

For me, right about now is the hardest part. My clock reads 7:23pm, and right now is my "hungry time" because I ordinarily do my major eating at dinner time. In fact, that's usually my only real meal of the day - the rest is made up of grazing here and there - a handful of sunflower seeds or pine nuts, a date, an apple, a handful of spinach, that type of thing.

You may be wondering WHY in the heck we're doing this, but actually I'm pretty excited about it. We're mostly raw anyway already, and this type of cleanse helps you get out the yuckies in your body that have accumulated over a lifetime of eating meat and dairy. In this case, it's gall bladder stones, that should be eliminated on Day 5, or Friday, morning. On the afternoon of Day 4, the fast is broken by a glass of olive oil followed by a glass of lemon juice. I'm thinking that'll be the hardest part. But eating raw food makes me feel amazing overall (as it will you too, after the initial struggle) and I'm painfully aware that these feelings I'm having about potato chips and guacamole and cookies are basically drug withdrawal. (If I sound crazy, buy the book - it explains everything).

All in all, it's a good thing. I just happen to be in my hungry time. Ask me again tomorrow morning :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Chapel Chatter: Unofficial Wedding Song

No, this isn't our actual wedding song. That's a surprise.

Instead, this is the song that, if it weren't so corny (sad, but true), would probably have won the wedding song contest.

Enjoy!
(no, the video isn't my favorite, but Jeffrey Gaines' version of this song rocks. Don't deny it.)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Movie Review: Alice in Wonderland

Last night we saw Alice in Wonderland, and in 3D - always a better option, when available, if you ask me. Sure, maybe the glasses gave me a slight headache for time to time, but it was worth it to jump out of my seat (yes, literally) at the scary parts as the head of some monster or another came off the screen and filled up half the movie theater!

But about the movie.
As you probably know, it was directed by Tim Burton, and his quirky, beautiful, and slightly disconcerting style was fully present. Every scene was breathtaking in its color, detail, and the strange emotions it evoked - from Alice's frightening fall down the rabbit hole (whatever happened to that piano, anyway?) to your first glimpses of Wonderland (actually "Underland" in the movie - makes sense!) I always got the impression that I couldn't see enough before the shot changed - I was constantly sure I was missing something because of all that was constantly going on. It was obvious that SO much time and consideration was put into the making of this film.
The movie begins with Alice in the ordinary world, the same way it did in the book and in the cartoon Disney classic. I do have one thing to say about this - and that is that if you're expecting it to be like either of those, you'll be surprised. I went in thinking that it was going to be more like the book than it was.

Not that I'm complaining, though! The twists and turns of the plot (not to mention the hidden lessons there, having do with current situations going on if you ask me) were highly entertaining and kept me riveted on the screen.

As I said before, I had to jump a few times and T may have lost circulation in a couple of fingers from fearful hand-squeezing on my part, but he's used to that after Avatar.

The performances in the movie were amazing. Mia Wasikowska, who played Alice, kept a light hearted but thoughtful face on during most of the film. She reacted like I'm sure a lot of us do in dreams (which, of course, the character assumed her time in Wonderland to be, after all, she wasn't exactly a little girl). Helena Bonham Carter was crisp and delightfully off-balance as the Red Queen, who you couldn't help but feel sorry for as you wanted her to lose, and Anne Hathaway was lovely and strange as the White Queen (who I recall being much more loopy in the book - I really liked how the loopiness was just an act for the character in this movie, and underneath the vacant expression was a lot more depth and strength than may be expected). And Johnny Depp - what is there to say? As always flawless, endearing, and in this movie, a little spooky from time to time.

So, for the big question, should you see this movie?

Answer: Absolutely! It'll be a good time, and it may make you think. Or it may not, but you'll be entertained either way. And I promise that the headache fades as soon as you take the glasses off, so if you can, see it in 3-D!


Today's quote:
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. ~Jonathan Winters

Friday, March 5, 2010

Chapel Chatter: Flowers in Her Hair

So, technically, this doesn't matter as far as creating bad luck before the wedding because
1) it's not really my dress, and
2) even if it were, it's for the 2nd reception anyway!

This weekend I finalized my order for this beauty:
Isn't it lovely?
Just the perfect thing for my (if you shouldn't be seeing the dress - you know who you are, don't click here) dress!

Brandi over at silver pencils is wonderful - she's quick, friendly, worked with me SO sweetly when making my custom flower, and has a great blog with gorgeous travel pics to boot! Definitely go check out her shop for adorable designs at nice prices!

Hope you all are having a lovely Monday. It's raining here, and I have a full day ahead of sitting in a chair working on my dissertation and tearing, gluing, tying and embellishing wedding invitations. I'll post about 'em eventually.

Till then, happy in-like-a-lion month! He's roaring away here, just listen to that thunder!

today's quote:
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.
~John Ruskin

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Return to Nature

(this is an excerpt from my daily personal writing, which no one normally gets a peek at other than my mentor and on occasion, T. However, today's pages were calling out to me to cut 'em and paste 'em here, so here you are...)
I long to be outside. Not anywhere particular, just out, in the sun, feeling the breeze, hearing the animals, and all similar such stuff. There is a major problem here though.

I haven't spent aimless time outside since I was a little girl, and I can honestly say that I don't know how to do it.

Up til now, I was satisfied with being indoors constantly, with the fluorescent lighting and recycled air and yucky radiation coming from appliances (yep, you guessed it – hairdryers too) and chemicals from household products, personal products, and everything between. I had no clue any of this was around. Since I can remember, I've been bombarded by all these things (I won't even go into the constant harmful noise that's there, just beyond your attention) until now after years of the constants of that environment, I'm completely unaware of them. Well, not completely, not anymore. Now I'm aware. But I'm still afraid to go out.

Yes, afraid. I think that's a good word to describe the feeling I have. The trepidation about bugs, about winds that are too strong, about people looking at me strangely if I make a spot in the yard my own by sitting there for too long (what is she doing?). About grass stains on my clothes. Heck, after the reading I've been doing, I'm even nervous about crushing grass stems when I sit or lie on them. Goodness knows that, technically, there's really not much point to a blanket – it just keeps grass from receiving life-giving light where the area your body would take up wouldn't cause that much damage as an entire blanket would, and as we all, who've ever picnicked know, they don't keep the bugs off anyway.

It's a silly thing, that going outside in Nature, where we all originated, would hold such anxiety and a multitude of preparational thoughts to just go and hang out. I'm sure that anyone who'd never stepped foot indoors, or who hadn't spent more than an hour or two indoors at any time in the past several years, may feel the same way. Certainly it would feel as if your life were being cut off, if you couldn't hear the “heartbeat” - all the rhythms and noises of your Mother, who you never actually leave (aka, the Earth, Gaia, whatev you wanna call it).

When I was little, I remember being outside most of the time. When it was warm enough to go out, it was too also often hot and boring to be indoors. You can't read books all the time, and besides, there are places you can go to escape out there.

When we lived on Carroll Street, in the two story white wooden house where rats and/or squirrels lived in the wall and would scratch, scratch, scratch a couple inches from our ears just beyond the wood paneling at night, there was a tree that I hung out with.

It was outside, to the left of our porch if you were looking at the house. The “driveway” was there, although we always parked out front anyway, so it was a quiet spot. Brush and other trees were growing between our property and the lumber yard next door, and right on the edge, next to the fence made by this flora, was the tree.

It had a knot where a branch had been cut off a long time ago, and which still oozed sap sometimes. In retrospect, I guess it didn't heal all that cleanly. I would climb up to a spot where the two main branches forked off of the trunk and sit for a long time, seeing the sun shine down between the leaves, feeling the breeze against my skin, and feeling so at home there. That, in fact, may have been a place that felt the most like a real home to me over the course of my entire childhood.

Years ago someone had put a chain around the trunk, maybe to keep a dog tied up – people did that a lot in the South. You never think about how sucky it must be for the dog, usually because they're mean and bark at you. You're just glad that they are chained there, and can't rip a chunk out of your leg. But I guess I'd be pretty ornery too if I had to stay three feet from the same spot all the time. Some people never unchained their dogs. Yuck.

Anyway, a chain had been put around the tree long ago and now, because the tree had grown, its bark buckled and strained around the chain which grew ever tighter as the tree grew ever larger. I'd pry at it with my fingers, trying to get it loose, unable to. I asked my Dad to help once, but he was too busy (he probably didn't have a tool that could cut through the thick chain or the thicker lock anyway – I should have asked more people, as some of my relatives were bound to have something that could help). I remember looking at that painful metal, cutting into the tree, and feeling so hopeless and helpless. I knew it hurt. As I type now, the emotion comes rushing back to me and I'm feeling still guilty, wondering what would happen if, the next time I'm in Virginia, I go up to that property with a big chain cutter – would anyone mind? Would they think I was a crazy person? Would it matter?

Anyway, I never got the chain off. And by the time we moved, I was getting more interested in inside, teenage girl things like makeup and lacy bras and hair spray. But now, I'd like to get outside again.

It seems I probably should have been doing that the whole time anyway. But now, going outside isn't natural at all anymore. I wonder whether it's better to start slow or just dive in. I wonder how many other people feel the way I do.

Two nights ago, during the full moon, Terry and I sat across from each other, discussing what we wanted. He asked me what I'd do if I could do whatever I wanted, money, convenience, things like that were no object. I said that I'd travel until I found land that spoke to me and build an Earthship and live there, like that, learning about the plants and the land and God, in that way, and that I'd eventually want to start a family there. He didn't know much of what to think of that. Neither did I. Where did that desire come from? But it feels right, and I know that it may be the next big stop. Or, it may not. I just have to wait and see. Until then, I'll wait for my little apple seed to grow (which I planted last night) and my sunflower too (same thing), in their indoor pots using outdoor soil and getting lots of encouraging whispers from me, and I'll go out when it's warm this afternoon and do some reading. I think that's as good a start as any.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Right Now


I received this in an email today from my good friend and classmate, named Yukari. She always has the most positive and upbeat outlook (may we all strive to be more positive and upbeat, no?)

Anyway, it was just so fantastic that I figured anyone stumbling across my blog would enjoy it. (sorry, I don't know the author.)

As you read it, let yourself sink down into the truth of these words - you'll like it :)


Right this very moment, on a distant farm, there basks a fig, a nut, or a berry, whose very life force will soon be your own. But that's not all...

Right this very moment, there's a gorgeous home on a splendid property with a spectacular view, whose roof will someday give you shelter. But that's not all...

Right this very moment, there are
beautiful souls on your beautiful planet, whom you do not even know, yet through your meanderings and theirs, paths will cross, love will be shared, and eternal friendships will be created. I'm still not done...

And nothing you do, or don't do, can prevent these serendipities I've just shared, and so, so many more.

Amen, hallelujah, rock me Amadeus -

The Universe


(you can also sign it God, the Tao, Goddess, Allah, Jesus, whatevvv. Same difference, when it come to things like this!)