Saturday, March 20, 2010

Awesome Apple Fast: Days 4 & 5

Alrighty so let's discuss how this went.

On the morning of Day 4, which was Thursday, I woke up filled with energy and optimism.
It was a great day.
The sun was shining (or would be soon...I get up early).
My body felt amazing - I've never felt so clean and good!
Today was the last day of the cleanse, so, after some unpleasantness in the afternoon,
I'd be able to eat tomorrow.

So I went on my merry little way, preparing for the wedding, sending out emails, working on lots of new and very VERY exciting changes going on around here (stay tuned, lots of posts to come), drank some apple sauce/juice (which is what you get when you juice apples yourself), and then 3:00pm rolled around.

It was time.
T and I filed into the kitchen. I meticulously measured out our olive oil - 6 ounces for me, and 8 for him (he was optimistic).

He squeezed lemon juice for us, the same amounts for each.

I went and got his computer to video record this momentous occasion (which video promptly deleted itself - weird, but true, and I'm kinda glad about that).

We tried to wrap our arms wedding-toast style, but were too paranoid about what we'd do after taking the first sip of olive oil, so we just faced each other instead.

After a clink, and a count down, bottoms up.


Seriously? Seriously. I am all for cleanses - with how amazing this one felt, I'm all about doing a different cleanse a month til all my body organs are spic and span, but I will not lie to you.

It was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced.

If I believed that Hell was a place where you have to do the most unpleasant thing imaginable forever, I'd be sitting there with a never-ending glass of amber olive oil.
It was really THAT bad.

I can't even describe it. It isn't that the taste is terrible, I mean, it tastes like olive oil. If you've ever taken a tequila shot (guilty, of course) then this is child's play. The problem is the TEXTURE. Your throat doesn't like it. And after 3.5 days of only apple juice, your stomach isn't a fan of the incredible richness either.

Really, it was horror of horrors horribleawefuldisGUUUSting. I asked Terry (only half joking) whether he thought David Wolfe put that in the book just to make his readers feel inadequate compared to him - I mean, he didn't even warn you about the terribleness, does that mean he can just sip it with a smile? If so, I suck in comparison. Maybe this is his raw foodism scheme to take over the world, psychologically.

I don't believe that. But, if he can drink that with no problems, he's a better human than I. Or a worse one. Depends on how you look at it.

We tried straws. (which worked better for me than T)

We tried to, since we were filming, pretend that we were doing a commercial and that the drink was delicious. I mean, I'm sure people have to do that sometimes. What about cooking shows? They ALWAYS look like that stuff tastes amazing. And I know from experience after trying their recipes, that those faces are faked at least some of the time.

That didn't work.

In the end, Terry downed his entire glass (I'm getting queasy just typing about it). I, on the other hand, could only get 4 ounces down. We figured that since I'm pretty small and light (under 100lbs), this was probably fine.

So we followed up with the lemon juice, during which T made faces I've never seen on a human before and that were highly entertaining, and put on our inventive liver compresses, which consisted of cloths with warm castor oil on them, against our livers, under a layer of plastic wrap that wound twice around our torsos. Awesome. (and sweaty, ew).

We laid in bed, on our right sides, with the mattress heater on, and watched movies - a little of Alien, then some of As Good As it Gets - about then T got sleepy so I watched some Gossip Girl and videos on wedding hair (very interesting, notsomuch, but necessary).

As the sun went down, we got lethargic and weird and T got downright sick. He was bad off. Just goes to show you, listen to your body! Don't force yourself to finish the doggone olive oil! Be like me, and once you start dry heaving, PUT THE GLASS DOWN.


And, as for the passing of the gall bladder stones, did it happen on the morning of Day 5?


No, it wasn't painful at all. I won't go into specifics cause that's a little TOO much detail for a random googler who's ended up on my blog, but feel free to email me if you have questions.

We spent the day Friday in the city, going to a dress fitting for me and running errands and breaking our fast with Mexican food over at Ruby Tequilas -
-NOT a good idea. I felt so polluted after I left that place. No offence to RT, I just think I'm off cooked food.

I've been so spoiled with my mental acuity and mood and energy and physique, and now that I've successfully formulated a delicious flax cracker recipe to curb my tortilla chip addiction (for a later post, that), I'm on my way.

I will miss that quinoa bread though. Make a loaf, have it with honey for me. YUM.

I'm off to google raw bread recipes....

Happy Weekend!


Candice said...

I think I'll pass, but you are a brave lady for giving this whole thing a shot!

Also, you're under 100 lbs?! I haven't been that light since...elementary school.

Cheryl said...

I confess that I too am just a bit jealous about the under 100 lbs. thing however, it's been a longtime since I've been there and I really don't think it would work for me now so I'm over.

I do want to hear about the passing of gall stones, so email me when you get a chance. Although I am now totally convinced that this is a cleanse I WILL NOT try.