I'm having issues today.
To spare you the poor-me details, let's suffice it to say that there are health things going on that aren't the most pleasant to deal with -
- okay I know that if I don't give you the details all types of wrong assumptions could be made, so I just will.
I know I've talked about this before, but my teeth break. No one can explain it, apparently I just genetically have very brittle enamel, and I've had chunks of molar fall off when I was eating cookies and cream ice cream (no, no chocolate chips in that, just softened cookies and delicious ice cream, yet one of the strongest teeth in my mouth decided to crumble).
So, I got braces (invisalign, to be exact), because I was told that, with them, the pressure would be relieved and my teeth wouldn't break anymore.
Can you feel a yeah, right coming on?
Hmmm yeah well last week I wasn't even chewing anything and another tooth cracked. Apparently Invisalign isn't all it's cracked up to be on the non-tooth-breakage.
So, now, there isn't an actual break, just a visible (but smooth) crack, which may never turn into a break, but which also may.
So there's nothing I can do except for live in fear of becoming a snaggletooth in a moment. Awesome. Yes, it's mostly my ego, but still! I floss 3 times a day, I at least deserve to have whole teeth, no?
But, believing as I do that our mental state greatly influences our physical one, I can trace this emotion back to being a little girl, terrified of Armageddon and fire raining down from the sky and dying a horrible and excruciatingly painful death (yeah, at 5 years old I though this. Every kid commits little sins, but I took mine WAY too seriously - be careful what you tell the toddlers out there, y'all). So, growing up, this continued under the guise of other dangers after I shed the belief in fiery destruction from above, and picked up the strain of poverty. Then health issues. So now, there you go. Afraid of a tooth Armageddon.
I make light of it, but to be honest, I'm terrified!
But, I'm also kicking myself for holding beliefs that I can see caused my condition.
Now, back to the tea bag fortune (the pic above).
I had that cup of tea last night, when I was down and worried and really hard on myself for getting me here. When I'm consulting with others about this stuff, I remind them to be gentle and compassionate with themselves. Because we're all always doing the best we can with what we've got, right? So blaming and criticising don't have a place in self-talk. If you made a bad decision, okay, recognize it, then use your energy to work to change and improve yourself so you don't make it again, rather than using that energy to kick yourself and be harsh. That doesn't help anything.
So, today, I'll be starting the lovely all is right with the world and my future is happy affirmations.
(may sound goofy but I swear that stuff works. The stories I could tell you! But that's for another blog post)
Happy Monday y'all! Be nice to yourselves! If we're nicer to ourselves, we're nicer to each other, and before we know it, we've got a better world.
"This is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore"