Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Gloomy Wednesday

This is a gloomy day. Not for any particular reason -

...the weather's fine,...
...I'm physically feeling okay,...
...I'm only marginally stressed (the book for this semester has conveniently disappeared, so tonight I'll either find it or order a new one, and have two of the same textbook floating around...I hate wasting $)...

...but still gloomy.

My initial reaction is to be angry at myself for this. Who am I to be having a randomly yucko day? My life absolutely rocks compared to all the horror that happens in the world every day! How am I justified in being sad for no reason?

-then I catch myself. Wait, that doesn't make sense. If we're talking about deserving to feel a certain way, then anyone deserves to feel how they feel at any given time.

My mentor, Mark, often said during my first and second years as a Ph.D. student that "you can search the whole world over and never find anyone more deserving of love than you."

How is this very much different?

For all of the wonderful days I have, do I stop myself and say that "wait, someone out there has an objectively (or subjectively, for that matter) better life than you, so who do you think you are to feel so happy?"

Um, no.

So I guess this should be about the same, really.

Right?

So I'm'a roll with my bad day and let myself have it, and let myself be authentic and not force myself to fake smiles or laughs, and tomorrow I'm sure I won't feel like this anymore. Hell, it probably won't last til bedtime. If I let it happen, that is. If I fight it, that's probably a whole different story.

What do you think? How do you cope with bad days?

2 comments:

Robyn said...

I know that feeling all too well. Nothing wrong with having a gloomy day every now and then. I usually just take it for what its worth and cling to the fact that tomorrow is a new day. Love that quote your mentor told you...so true!

The Shabby Princess said...

Sometimes, you just gotta accept that bad day and even have a little pitty party. I know that's so lame, but, sometimes, it really helps.